Should parents ask for parenting advice online and seek online support? Clinical psychologist Gale Post warns against publishing personal information about a child with caution. In the future, this can turn into serious problems for children.
We are accustomed to receiving information from the Internet, seeking advice from the collective mind in social networks. But the boundaries of personal space, including information space, are different for everyone.
Clinical psychologist Gail Post wondered if parents could discuss their children’s problems online. What to do if you need advice? And how do you know what information is not worth posting? You can find answers and support on the Web, it’s convenient and fast, she agrees, but there are also pitfalls.
“Maybe your child is bullying or depressed or being bullied at school. Anxiety drives you crazy. You need advice, and as soon as possible. But when you post personal, detailed, and compromising information online, it can affect your child’s social and emotional well-being and leave a mark on the future,” warns Gail Post.
Comments from strangers will not replace expert advice and conversations with loved ones.
We teach children the risk of posting ambiguous or indecent selfies and party photos online. We warn about cyberbullying, we remind you that everything published by them may resurface years later and negatively affect job prospects or in other situations.
But when we ourselves are worried and cannot cope with horror, we lose our discretion. Some even share suspicions that the child is using drugs, describe his sexual behavior, discipline problems, learning difficulties, and even publish psychiatric diagnoses.
Desperate for answers, it’s easy to forget that sharing this kind of information not only puts the child at risk, it also violates privacy.
So-called «closed» online social media groups usually have 1000 or more members, and there is no guarantee that some «anonymous» person will not recognize your child or take advantage of the information received. In addition, comments from strangers will not replace consultation with specialist and talking with loved ones who really know your situation.
It is the responsibility of parents to find out if your publication will be dangerous for a minor
Sometimes parents ask their child for permission to publish about him. This, of course, is wonderful, says Gale Post. But children cannot consciously give consent, they do not have the necessary experience and maturity to understand that the publication can affect their fate many years later. That is why children cannot vote, marry, or even consent to medical manipulations.
“The child may allow information about him to be published to please you, to avoid conflicts, or simply because he does not understand the seriousness of the issue. However, the duty of parents is not to rely on the judgment of a minor, but to figure out whether your publication will be dangerous for him, ”the expert recalls.
As a psychologist and mother, she encourages parents to think twice before talking about their child online. Years later, having matured, he is going to get a prestigious job, go to the civil service, run for a public position. Then information compromising him will emerge. This will negate the chances of your adult child getting an appointment.
Before sharing, ask yourself:
1. Will my fasting confuse or upset a child?
2. What happens if friends, teachers or acquaintances get access to this information?
3. Even if he (a) gives the go-ahead now, will he be offended by me years later?
4. What are the potential risks of posting such information now and in the future? If confidentiality is violated, will my adult child’s future education, employment, career, or reputation be affected?
If certain information is dangerous to post on the Internet, it is better for parents to seek answers and support from friends and relatives, seek help from psychologists, lawyers, teachers, doctors.
“Read specialized literature, seek advice, look for information on trusted sites,” Gail Post addresses parents. “And please be extra careful with posts that contain information about your child.”
About the Expert: Gale Post is a clinical psychologist.