И сам психолог — да ли је то могуће?

“Why do we need these psychologists?” Indeed, why on earth should we share our most personal, most intimate secrets with a stranger, and even pay him for it, when the bookshelves are littered with bestsellers promising us to «discover our true self» or «get rid of hidden psychological problems» ? Isn’t it possible, having prepared well, to help yourself?

Није тако лако, расхлађује наш жар психоаналитичар Герард Бонет: „Не надајте се да ћете сами постати психоаналитичар, јер за ову позицију морате се дистанцирати од себе, што је прилично тешко учинити. Али сасвим је могуће обављати самосталан рад ако пристанете да ослободите своју несвесност и радите са знацима које даје. Како се то ради?

Потражите симптоме

This technique underlies all psychoanalysis. It was starting from introspection, or rather, from one of his dreams, which went down in history under the name «Dream about the injection of Irma», Sigmund Freud in July 1895 brought out his theory of dreams.

We can perfectly use this technique and apply it to ourselves, using all the symptoms that the unconscious reveals to us: not only dreams, but also things that we forgot to do, slips of the tongue, slips of the tongue, slips of the tongue, slips of the tongue, strange occurrences — everything that happens to us quite often.

“You need to regularly dedicate a certain time to this,” says Gerard Bonnet. — At least 3-4 times a week, best of all in the morning, barely waking up, we should remember the previous day, paying special attention to dreams, omissions, episodes that seemed strange. It is better to record in a diary everything that happens in the most free manner, thinking about associations and not worrying about style or any kind of coherence. Then we can go to work so that in the evening or the next day in the morning we can return to what we have written and calmly reflect on it in order to see the connection and meaning of events more clearly.

Between the ages of 20 and 30, Leon, now 38, began carefully writing down his dreams in a notebook, and then adding to them the free associations he had. “At the age of 26, something extraordinary happened to me,” he says. — I tried several times to pass the driver’s license test, and all in vain. And then one night I dreamed that I was flying along the highway in a red car and overtaking someone. Having overtaken for the second time, I felt extraordinary bliss! I woke up with this sweet feeling. With an incredibly clear image in my head, I told myself that I could do it. As if my unconscious gave me an order. And a few months later, I was actually driving a red car!”

What happened? What «click» caused such a change? This time it did not even require complex interpretation or symbolic analysis of the dreams, since Leon was satisfied with the simplest, most superficial explanation that he gave himself.

Ослободити се важније је од проналажења објашњења

Often we are driven by a strong desire to clarify our actions, mistakes, dreams. Many psychologists consider this a mistake. This is not always necessary. Sometimes it is enough to get rid of the image, to «expel» it without trying to explain it, and the symptom disappears. Change does not happen because we think we have figured ourselves out.

Поента није у томе да тачно протумачимо сигнале несвесног, много је важније да га ослободимо оних слика које нам се бескрајно ничу у глави. Наше несвесно жели само да се чује. Заповеда нам без нашег знања када жели да пошаље поруку нашој свести.

40-годишња Маријана је дуго веровала да су њени ноћни страхови и несрећне романсе резултат тешке везе са њеним одсутним оцем: „Све сам гледала кроз призму тих односа и градила исте неуротичне односе са „неприкладним " мушкарци. А онда сам једног дана сањао да моја бака по оцу, са којом сам живео у младости, пружа руке према мени и плаче. Ујутру, када сам записивао сан, слика нашег сложеног односа са њом одједном ми је постала потпуно очигледна. Није било шта да се разуме. Био је то талас који се подигао изнутра, који ме је прво преплавио, а потом и ослободио.

It is useless to torment ourselves, asking ourselves whether our explanation fits this or that of our manifestation. “Freud was at first completely concentrated on the interpretation of dreams, and in the end he came to the conclusion that only the free expression of ideas is important,” remarks Gérard Bonnet. He believes that well-conducted introspection should lead to positive results. «Our mind is freed, we can get rid of a lot of symptoms, such as obsessive-compulsive behavior that affects our relationships with other people.»

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Али ова вежба има своје границе. Психоаналитичар Ален Ваније сматра да не треба урањати сувише дубоко у себе: „Брзо ћемо се сусрести са препрекама и са неизбежним повлађивањем себи. У психоанализи полазимо од притужбе, а лек је да нас усмери тамо где боли, управо тамо где смо изградили баријере да никада не гледамо тамо. Ту лежи срж проблема.”

What is hidden in the very depths of the unconscious, what is its core? — this is exactly what our consciousness, our own «I» does not dare to face: a zone of suffering repressed in childhood, inexpressible for each of us, even for those whom life has only spoiled since then. How can you bear to go and examine your wounds, open them, touch them, press on the sore spots that we have hidden under the veil of neuroses, strange habits or delusions?

“Face to face with ourselves, we try not to see those oddities that can take us by surprise: amazing slips of the tongue, mysterious dreams. We will always find a reason not to see this — any reason will be good for this. That is why the role of a psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is so important: they help us overcome our own internal boundaries, to do what we cannot do alone, ”concludes Alain Vanier. “On the other hand,” adds Gerard Bonnet, “if we engage in introspection before, during, or even after a course of therapy, its effectiveness will be many times greater.” So self-help and a course of psychotherapy do not exclude each other, but expand our ability to work on ourselves.