What is our goal as parents? What do we want to pass on to our children, how to raise them? Philosopher and family ethicist Michael Austin proposes to consider two main goals of education — freedom and well-being.
Raising children is a serious job, and parents today have access to many resources from the field of psychology, sociology, and medicine. Surprisingly, philosophy can also be useful.
Michael Austin, professor, philosopher and author of books on family relationships, writes: “Philosophy means the love of wisdom, with its help we can make life more fulfilling.” He proposes to consider one of the questions that have given rise to the debate on family ethics.
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“I believe that the most important goal of parenthood is well-being,” Austin is convinced.
In his opinion, children need to be brought up in accordance with certain norms of morality. Given the value of each person in the future society, strive to ensure that they feel confident, calm and happy throughout their lives. I wish them to flourish and remain worthy people morally and intellectually.
Parents are not owners, not masters and not dictators. On the contrary, they should behave as stewards, managers or guides for their children. With this approach, the well-being of the younger generation becomes the main goal of education.
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Michael Austin gets into a public argument with the social philosopher and poet William Irving Thompson, author of The Matrix as Philosophy, who is credited with saying, «If you don’t create your own destiny, you will have a destiny forced upon you.»
Exploring the issues of childhood and education, Irwin argues that the goal of parenthood is freedom. And the criteria for assessing the success of parents is how free their children are. He defends the value of freedom as such, transferring it to the field of education of new generations.
He believes that in freedom lies respect for others. In addition, even those who hold different views of the world can agree with each other on the value of freedom. Defending the importance of a rational approach to life, Irwin believes that a person can give up freedom only if he suffers from weakness of the will.
Weakness of will is irrational for him, because in this case people will not be able to perform actions and follow the course that they have chosen for themselves as the best. In addition, according to Irwin, parents must understand that by passing on their values to children, they can cross the line and start brainwashing them, thereby undermining their freedom.
Just this, according to Michael Austin, is the weakest side of the concept «the goal of parenthood is the freedom of children.» The problem is that freedom is too value-neutral. None of us want children to do things that are immoral, irrational, or simply unreasonable.
Deep meaning of parenting
Austin disagrees with Irwin’s point of view and sees it as a threat to morality. But if we accept the well-being of children as the goal of parenthood, then freedom — an element of well-being — will take its place in the value system. Of course, parents should be careful not to undermine the autonomy of children. Being free is necessary to stay prosperous, says Michael Austin.
But at the same time, a more directive, «managerial» approach to raising children is not only acceptable, but also preferable. Parents are interested in passing on their values to their children. And children need guidance and direction for development, which they will receive from their parents.
“We must respect the developing freedom in our children, but if we consider ourselves to be some kind of stewards, then our main goal is their well-being, moral and intellectual,” he said.
Following this approach, we will not seek to «live through our children.» However, Austin writes, the real meaning and happiness of parenthood is understood by those who put the interests of children above their own. “This difficult journey can change the lives of both the children and the parents who care for them for the better.”
About the Expert: Michael Austin is a philosopher and author of books on ethics, as well as the philosophy of family, religion, and sports.