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In Pakistan, we don’t let children cry
“But it doesn’t happen! My mother was shocked that in France, children are allowed to cry. “Your daughter is surely hungry, give her a piece of bread to calm her down!” She insisted. Education in Pakistan is quite mixed. On the one hand, we wear the
бебе,in order to avoid the slightest cry. They are swaddled from birth in a scarf to make them feel safe. They share the parents’ room for a long time – like my daughters who still sleep with us. I myself stayed in my mother’s house until my wedding day. But on the other hand, little Pakistanis have to follow family rules without flinching. In France, when children do stupid things, I hear parents say to them: “Look me in the eye when I speak to you”. With us, the dad asks his children to lower their eyes out of respect.
When I was pregnant, the first thing that surprised me in France, is that we are very followed. It’s great. In Pakistan, the first ultrasound is done around the 7th month or, more often, never. The custom is that we give birth at home with the help of a midwife called “dai”, otherwise it could be someone from the family, such as an aunt or mother-in-law. There are too few expensive maternity clinics – 5 rupees (around 000 euros) – and few women can afford them. My mother had us at home, like most Pakistani women. My sister, like many women, has lost several babies. So now, aware of the dangers that this creates, our mother encourages us to go to the hospital.
Pakistani mom rests for 40 days after childbirth
After my first childbirth in France, I did something prohibited in Pakistan. I came home from the hospital and took a shower! The moment I got out of the water my phone rang, it was my mother. As if she guessed what I was doing. ” You’re crazy. It’s January, it’s cold. You risk having illnesses or back problems. “There is hot water in here, don’t worry mom,” I replied. In Pakistan, we still have long hot water and electricity cuts.
With us, the woman rests for forty days and must remain the first twenty days in bed without touching cold water. We wash with warm water compresses. It is the husband’s family who move in with the young parents and they take care of everything. The mother is breastfeeding, that is her only role. To make the milk rise, they say that the young mother must eat all types of nuts: coconut, cashew and others. Fish, pistachios and almonds are also recommended. To regain strength, we eat lentil and wheat or tomato rice soup (with very little curry so that it is less spicy). The child is not allowed to go out for two months. They say he would cry, for fear of the noise outside or the darkness of the night.
In Pakistan, children are dressed in bright colors
We start giving solid food at 6 months, with white rice mixed with yogurt. Then, very quickly, the child eats like the family. We take and crush what is on the table. Honey is very present in our food and our remedies, it is the only sugar that the child eats the first year. There, in the morning, it’s black tea for everyone. My niece who has 4 years already drink it, but diluted. Our bread, “parata”, which is made from whole wheat flour and looks like soft patties, is the staple of our diet. There, unfortunately, no croissants or pain au chocolat! At home, it’s French-style during the week, the girls eat their Chocapic every morning, and at weekends, it’s Pakistani meals.
But sometimes during the week I would like to see my daughters as beautiful as in Pakistan. There, every morning, the children are given “kohl”. It is a black pencil that is applied inside the eye. This is done from birth to enlarge the eyes. I miss the colors of my country. In France, everyone dresses in dark. In Pakistan, young girls wear the traditional outfit in very bright colors: the “salwar” (pants), “kameez” (shirt) and “dupatta” (scarf that is worn on the head). It’s so much more cheerful!