Almost half of couples stop all intimate relationships when they are expecting a baby. But is it worth it to give up pleasure? Sex during pregnancy can be a juicy experience — provided you’re careful.
During pregnancy, a woman’s body changes, as does her inner state. She has to think for two, she can experience mood swings and desires. A partner may also have doubts: how to approach a beloved woman in this new state? Would his intervention be dangerous, would she accept him? But for some, this period becomes a time of amazing discoveries and new exciting sensations.
Does sexuality change during pregnancy? “Yes and no,” says sexologist Caroline Leroux. “Experts do not have a common opinion on this matter, but they agree on one thing: a woman’s desires can fluctuate depending on the trimester.” In addition to the psychological aspects, libido is affected by hormonal and physical changes.
Pregnancy and desire
“During the first trimester, the chest is tense, often there is an urge to nausea,” explains the sexologist. — Some women are not up to romance in these conditions. Changes in hormones and general fatigue also contribute to a decrease in libido. Another fear of pregnant women, especially in the first few months, is whether a miscarriage will happen. “Women are often afraid that their husband’s penis might supposedly push the fetus out,” says Caroline Leroux. “But studies don’t support a link between sex and miscarriage, so this fear can be categorized as a prejudice.”
In the second trimester, physical changes become more obvious: the stomach is rounded, the chest swells. The woman feels desired. “She still does not feel the heaviness of the fetus and enjoys her forms, which seem to her especially seductive,” explains Caroline Leroux. — The child is already starting to move, and the fear of miscarriage disappears. This is the best time for sex.»
In the third trimester, purely physical inconveniences come to the fore. Even if the situation is complicated due to the size of the abdomen, you can still have sex until the onset of childbirth (if there are no special prescriptions from doctors). These last months of pregnancy are an opportunity to discover new positions and pleasures.
“In the third trimester, it’s better to avoid the “man on top” position so as not to put pressure on the stomach,” says Caroline Leroux. — Try the “spoon” position (lying on your side, facing the partner’s back), the “partner behind” position (“doggy style”), variations of sitting postures. A partner may feel most relaxed when she is on top.”
And yet, is there any danger?
This is one of the most common myths: orgasm provokes uterine contractions, and this allegedly leads to preterm labor. It’s not really about fights. “Orgasms can cause uterine contractions, but they are usually short-lived, only three or four,” explains Benedict Lafarge-Bart, an ob/gyn and author of My Pregnancy in 300 Questions and Answers. The child does not feel these contractions, because it is protected by a water shell.
You can have sex if the pregnancy is going well
“If you have unusual vaginal discharge or have had a premature birth in the past, it is better to avoid intimacy,” advises Caroline Leroux. Placenta previa (when it is in the lower part of the uterus, right in the way of the birth of a child) can also be considered a contraindication. Feel free to discuss sexual risk factors with your doctor.
Pleasure begins with understanding
In sex, a lot depends on how relaxed and ready you are to trust each other. Pregnancy is no exception in this sense. “The loss of desire may be due to the fact that the partners are too tense, afraid of unusual sensations and inconvenience,” explains Caroline Leroux. — During consultations, I often hear such complaints from men: “I don’t know how to approach my wife”, “she only thinks about the child, as if because of this I cease to exist.” Men may become anxious because of the presence of the «third»: as if he knows about him, watches him from the inside and can respond to his movements.
“Nature has made sure that the child is well protected in the womb,” says Benedict Lafarge-Bart. The sexologist advises couples to discuss everything that bothers them. This is especially true for men, she emphasizes: “You may need some time to get used to the new situation. But don’t beat yourself up ahead of time. During pregnancy, a woman transforms, becomes feminine and seductive. Celebrate it, compliment her, and you’ll be rewarded.»