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Step 77: “When you want a change in your life, expect to fail for a while”
88 пречки срећних људи
У овом поглављу „88 корака срећних људи“ позивам вас да будете ближе свом циљу без престанка у покушају
This is the story of Joseph, a Canadian logger son and grandson of loggers, and his son Philip. One day, when Philip felt he was old enough, he asked his father for permission to cut down his first tree. He went to the forest alone and in the afternoon he came home frustrated. “Dad, I’m not good enough to cut down trees,” she told him.
“After delivering a high number of blows with my ax, the tree did not even stumble. All that effort was useless, “he exclaimed desolate. The father attentively listened to him relate his first experience as a tree feller and encouraged him to share his disappointment with him, so that this could help vent his frustration. When he aired all his sorrows, his father asked him two questions: how thick was the log and how many ax blows he had delivered. After listening to the son’s response, these were his words: «Dear Philip, from all that you tell me and from my experience, I can conclude that that tree had been felled with between 90 and 100 ax blows. And you gave 70. Not only was your effort paying off, but in fact, you were just a few more hacks away from achieving your goal. The reading that you did is that if the tree does not fall, it is because the axes do not work. But the correct one is the opposite: the more useless the axes seem, the closer the tree is to falling. The problem was, you gave up too soon. What was the impediment for you to achieve your goal? Your eagerness to achieve it.
Three lessons are drawn from this story. The first is: every time you want to incorporate a new change into your life, expect to fail for a while, but understand that each failed attempt, far from being a failure, is bringing you one step closer to your goal. The second is that, knowing that it is not an attempt, but a set of attempts, you can free yourself from the pressure of seeking immediate results. You just focus on taking the next chop, reminding yourself that one more chop will always mean you have one less step left. And the third is trust and understanding.
Confidence comes from knowing that hacking, even when you don’t see the tree fall, is the right way for it to fall. The understanding comes from knowing that every time a blow doesn’t knock down the tree, it is simply because it wasn’t the last in the series to knock it down.
Have you and your partner been yelling at each other for twenty years and today you have made the commitment not to do it again? Understand that twenty years is a very thick tree to cut down, and that you will fail thirty or forty times before you can permanently eliminate the old habit and make your tree fall. But also understand that each of these failures is a blow of the ax that, far from moving you away from your goal, brings you closer to it.
Have you promised not to disrespect a co-worker or family member and today you have? Smile. You are one day closer to achieving your goal and one ax less to felling your tree.
Have you been practicing self-observation five times without being able to control your Black Bag and want to conclude that the self-observation of Step 10 is worthless? Apply the following maxim …
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