Садржај
“Help, I don’t want to at all! “
The birth of a baby is a узбудљива авантура which gives real meaning to life. But it also presents a risk of crisis for the couple. Sexuality, in particular, often goes through a zone of turbulence. It changes, without this necessarily being problematic. It all depends on the strength of the couple and their ability to комуницирати. The transformation of your body, the interest shown in the (future) baby which may exclude your darling, fatigue, physical pain … so many factors which are not really conducive to the development of libido. But if the couple is struggling to find each other, having spent a few weeks of normal upheaval, it is better not to let the unspoken, the questions and the embarrassments set in.
The shrink’s opinion: “Some women have the impression that male desire does not take into account what they feel. “
“Sexuality changes over the months, with for some women a drop in libido, for others, on the contrary, an increase in libido. It also depends on how we see ourselves in this changing body. Whether we are happy to take forms or not … In this case, often, the woman may no longer want to have sex … Because she imagines that her partner would like her to be as before. The lack of desire can also correspond to the fact that with the arrival of the baby, the couple is no longer the priority. In fact, the purpose of founding the couple was not the same for the two. The woman wanted to start a family, the man a couple. For her, the purpose of intercourse was not sexual desire, but the desire for a child. His coming fills and takes the place of other desires. Some women may then have the impression that male desire does not take into account what they are feeling. The main thing is to take the time to listen to each other, to cultivate an intimacy for two that allows you to find moments of sensuality so as not to move away too much physically, even when sexual relations are scarce. “
Dr Bernard Geberowicz, psychiatrist, couple and family therapist, co-author of “Babyclash, the couple to the test of the child”, Albin Michel.
“It is usual for there to be a drop in libido. We can accept the idea that for ten weeks, the couple is not a priority. It is important to talk to each other a lot, not to feel guilty … and find the desire to seduce. “
The opinion of the sex therapist: “It is important to ask yourself if you want … to want. “
“We often talk about hormones. But they do not intervene negatively. On the contrary, the pregnant woman is in the best physiological conditions to have desire and pleasure: the estrogen flood makes the vagina hydrated and reactive. Except that our education tells us that we are going to become a mother and we refrain from all contact … After childbirth, what prevents intercourse, it can be vaginal dryness, which has a hormonal cause. There is a local treatment which promotes hydration (to be preferred to lubricants which dry quickly and allow penetration, but then make the report complicated). During this period, it is important to ask yourself if you want … to want. Because the real law in sexuality is repetition! When we stop, we no longer want to. If you are not inhibited, having fun by caresses can maintain the bond of the couple. And, depending on its history, it takes a longer or shorter time before resuming sexuality: if, 2 months after birth, you have no relationship with penetration, you must talk about it and after 4 months, consult . “
Др Силваин Мимоун, гинеколог андролог, specialist in sexuality. Author with Rica Étienne de “Côté срце, сексуална страна, основе среће за двоје”, Албин Мишел.