Садржај
Electronic devices have become part of our lives, and this can not be canceled. So, you need to teach your child to live in the digital world and, perhaps, learn it yourself. How to do this in order to maintain a warm relationship and avoid endless disputes and resentment?
“What did they find in these gadgets! Here we are in childhood … ”- parents often say, forgetting that their children grow up in a different, new world, and they may have other interests. Moreover, computer games are not just pampering, but an additional opportunity to communicate with peers and gain a certain status in their society.
If you completely forbid your child to use gadgets and play computer games, he will do this at a friend’s house or at a break at school. Instead of a categorical ban, it is worth discussing with the child the rules for using gadgets and the rules of behavior in the digital space — the book by Justin Patchin and Hinduja Sameer will help you with this, “Written remains. How to make Internet communication safe.
Yes, your children are not you, and their classes may seem incomprehensible and even boring to you. But it is better to support the interest of the child, to find out what he likes in this or that game and why. After all, the most important thing in your relationship is trust and respect for each other. And not a struggle, strict control and prohibitions.
Myths about gadgets and games
1. Computers make you addicted to gambling
Uncontrolled use of gadgets can indeed lead to bad consequences: emotional overload, socialization difficulties, lack of physical activity, health problems and gambling addiction. The latter is expressed in the replacement of real life with a virtual one. A person suffering from such an addiction forgets to satisfy the needs for food, water and sleep, forgets about other interests and values, and stops learning.
What should be remembered? Firstly, it is not gadgets in themselves that are harmful, but their uncontrolled use. And secondly, gambling addiction most often happens not because of their presence.
Do not confuse cause and effect: if a child spends a lot of time in the virtual world, it means that he is hiding there from problems and difficulties in school, family or relationships. If he does not feel successful, smart and confident in the real world, he will look for it in the game. Therefore, first of all, you need to pay attention to the relationship with the child. And if this is an addiction with all its inherent symptoms, contact a specialist.
2. Computer games make children aggressive
Numerous studies have shown that there is no link between video games and teenage violence later in life. Preteens who played violent games a lot did not show more aggressive behavior later than those who played little or no games. On the contrary, by fighting in the game, the child learns to take out anger in an ecological way.
How to set rules for using gadgets?
- Above all, be consistent and logical in your requirements. Formulate your inner position and rules. If you decide that the child plays no more than 2 hours a day, then there should be no exceptions for this. If you deviate from the established framework, it will be difficult to return to them.
- When you forbid something, then rely on facts, and not on fear, anxiety and misunderstanding. For example, talk about the fact that the light of the screen and the need to peer into small details reduces vision. But you must be confident in your knowledge: if you do not have a stable position on the issue, then conflicting information will make the child doubt.
Gadgets — time!
- Agree with the child at what time and How long he can play. As an option — after completing the lessons. The main thing is to determine the time of the game not by prohibitions (“it’s impossible for more than an hour”), but by the daily routine. To do this, you need to assess what the real life of the child is doing: is there a place for hobbies, sports, hobbies, dreams, even difficulties?
- Also decide when to use gadgets is extremely undesirable: for example, during meals and an hour before bedtime.
- Teach your child to keep track of time. Older children can set a timer, and those who are younger, warn 5-10 minutes in advance that the time is running out. So they will be able to control the situation: for example, sometimes you need to complete an important round in the game and not let your comrades down with an unexpected exit from the network.
- To motivate a child to finish the game calmly, use the 10-minute rule: if after the time has passed he puts the gadget away without unnecessary whims and resentments, then the next day he will be able to play 10 minutes longer.
Шта се не може учинити?
- Do not replace live communication with your child with gadgets. Sometimes it is enough to follow your behavior in order to understand why the child behaves in one way or another. Watch How long time you spend in front of the screen. Do you and your child have common interests and time together?
- Do not punish or encourage your child with gadgets and computer games! So you yourself will form in him the feeling that they are overvalued. How can you break away from the game, if tomorrow because of the punishment it may not be?
- Do not distract the child with the help of a gadget from negative experiences.
- Do not use phrases like “Stop playing, go do your homework” as the main leverage. It can be difficult for an adult to motivate himself and switch attention, but here the child is required to regularly control himself. Moreover, this skill is also reinforced by negative motivation: “If you don’t do homework, I’ll take the tablet for a week.” The prefrontal cortex of the brain, responsible for self-control and willpower, is formed before the age of 25. Therefore, help the child, and do not demand from him what an adult cannot always do.
If you are negotiating and setting new rules, be prepared for the fact that these changes will not happen overnight. It will take time. And do not forget that the child has the right to disagree, be angry and upset. It is the task of an adult to endure the feelings of the child and help them live.