People often hold on to relationships that are long gone. After all, warm memories warm the soul and give a feeling that everything can still get better. In fact, it is much more effective to learn to let go of those who were once close and open up to new experiences. How to do it?
Every relationship teaches us something, thanks to them we develop. Some make us stronger and kinder, others make us more cautious, less trusting, and some teach us to love. However, not all people must necessarily remain in our lives, no matter how pleasant the memories of them may be.
Friendships, like relationships in general, undergo natural changes throughout life. In childhood, we have many friends, and all of them are the best. In adolescence and youth, as a rule, there is an established company, and by the age of thirty, most people come with one, proven for years, best friend, and then with luck.
In the process of becoming a person, a person forms his own life position, moral standards, principles and rules.
And if at a certain stage, forming a close environment, you could not attach much importance to this, then with age these principles begin to manifest themselves more and more clearly. People with different values eventually separate from your environment and go their own way.
Unfortunately, often people are afraid to sort things out, endure and choose a “bad world”. The reasons for this are different:
fear of appearing bad in the eyes of others,
fear of changing the habitual way of life,
fear of losing a secondary benefit
unwillingness to burn bridges: it’s a pity, they built so many!
It turns out that a person makes himself a hostage because of the fear that he cannot or will not cope without another. Instead of moving forward, he gets stuck in an obsolete relationship.
The surest way is not to keep a person close by force, but to realistically and soberly look at the existing state of affairs. You need to listen to yourself and answer the questions: how comfortable are you in this relationship? Is this person good with you? You really can’t live without this person, or is it a habit/fear/addiction?
The more honest your answer is, the sooner you will understand the truth.
No person is your property, everyone has their own desires, goals and plans.
And if they diverge from yours, you need not to tie your loved one to yourself in all ways, not to manipulate, not to try to remake, but to let go, to give him the opportunity to go his own way.
It will become easier for both you and the other, because you choose freedom. You can fill the freed part of your everyday life with whatever you want — with relatives and friends who may really miss this, work and self-realization, and even just relaxation and hobbies.
One way or another, it is better to disperse without mutual claims and insults, but with gratitude and respect, because once you had a warm relationship.